crime

3 Murders in Bradentucky

prescription-drugs-addict-addictionDear Bradentuckians,

Spare me the whole, “Stop talking bad about Bradenton.  Bayshore Gardens is not a ghetto.”

Fact- Bayshore Gardens turned ghetto a long time ago.  And that’s not being racist.  Ride through there at night and you will see; white-trash, black-trash and hispanic-trash frolicking in the streets.  Sorry, but that’s the truth.

Just watch the video link below.  And thanks to the second guy not wearing a fucking shirt, classic Bradentucky.

Three people were murdered the other night in Bayshore Gardens, Bradentucky.

When this investigation is over, you are going to see that it was drug-related.  Don’t fucking be shocked.

Another Fact- Most of Bradenton turned to Bradentucky a long time ago.   Christ, I think we lead the state in opiate overdoses.  You can barely stop anywhere on Cortez without getting mean-mugged by some pill popper begging for money.

Bradentuckians, it’s time to take responsibility for the things you do and the way you act.

Stop being surprised about murders.  Murders go hand-in-hand with drug addicted cities.  And that’s what Bradentucky is…………… OPIATED.

I’m going to get some beers.  Cheers.

Robbery in Bradentucky, Florida

heroin-user-300x200Good lord.  What the hell is wrong with my city?  Two assholes robbed Uncle Nick’s Deli on Manatee Ave. at 3:30 in the damn afternoon.  They sound like brilliant criminals too.

They probably got at least $100 from the register.  And shit, $100 won’t buy too many pills, but you can get a decent amount of heroin.

But maybe I’m being a dick.  Maybe they are drug free and will just spend the $100 on shots at the Roo.  Yeah, ok, whatever you want to believe.

Uncle Nick’s Deli on Manatee Ave. was robbed.

3:30 in the damn afternoon???  Two people came in “the back door.”  Note to Uncle Nick; keep the goddamn back door locked.  That’s restaurant safety 101.

Anyway, I’m ready to see one of my locals interviewed about the daring heist.

“It was in the middle of broad daylight.  It was terrifying.  I was walking with my 7 kids up to Burger King when I saw a ruckus at that deli.  I thought I was going to be shot.  I guess it serves them Jews right for selling their bagels in Bradentucky.  It’s probably a hate crime,” said Bradentucky resident Sally Mae Bumpkis.

I remember when that plaza had a TCBY Yogurt store in it.  That was delicious.  No one ever robbed a yogurt store.  Shit, look what’s become of Bradentucky.  It’s fuckin sad.

On a positive note; they two idiots will probably be found overdosed in an alley still wearing the masks they had on during the robbery.  Thanks a lot Trump.