Florida

3 Murders in Bradentucky

prescription-drugs-addict-addictionDear Bradentuckians,

Spare me the whole, “Stop talking bad about Bradenton.  Bayshore Gardens is not a ghetto.”

Fact- Bayshore Gardens turned ghetto a long time ago.  And that’s not being racist.  Ride through there at night and you will see; white-trash, black-trash and hispanic-trash frolicking in the streets.  Sorry, but that’s the truth.

Just watch the video link below.  And thanks to the second guy not wearing a fucking shirt, classic Bradentucky.

Three people were murdered the other night in Bayshore Gardens, Bradentucky.

When this investigation is over, you are going to see that it was drug-related.  Don’t fucking be shocked.

Another Fact- Most of Bradenton turned to Bradentucky a long time ago.   Christ, I think we lead the state in opiate overdoses.  You can barely stop anywhere on Cortez without getting mean-mugged by some pill popper begging for money.

Bradentuckians, it’s time to take responsibility for the things you do and the way you act.

Stop being surprised about murders.  Murders go hand-in-hand with drug addicted cities.  And that’s what Bradentucky is…………… OPIATED.

I’m going to get some beers.  Cheers.

Animal abuse, MTV & Siesta Key

IMG953524-2Well, damn, you mean just because you delete a picture or video from your phone it doesn’t disappear forever?????

Take a look at this picture on the left.  This appears to be Alex Kompothecras, 1-800 Ask Gary’s kid.  He’s the spoiled brat who is the “star” of MTV’s latest garbage show called Siesta Key.

Take a look at the video link below.  I’m no scientist, but damn that looks like Alex.  If that’s not Alex, wearing a fucking Trump hat, shooting a hammerhead shark and laughing about it, well then I apologize.  But damn, that looks like him.

bradenton shark assholes at it again

And check this out, shortly before this video was released, MTV gave a very MTV garbage-like statement.

MTV Responds to Siesta Key Shark-Dragging Controversy

I really hope something can be done to punish all these people who treat animals this way.  I’m a Bradentucky native.  I’ve fished these waters my entire life.  I’ve never treated animals this way and never have 99% of my fellow Bradentuckians who respect nature.

Fuck these guys…………..with no Vaseline.

(Again, if the person in this video is not Alex, then I apologize.)

Related Posts (Bradentucky Shark Abusers, Leave Town Assholes, Bradentucky Shark Dragging Incident, Siesta Key Spoiled Rich Kids, Sarasota Man Pissed at Siesta Key MTV.)

Sarasota Man pissed at Siesta Key MTV

siestaSo yeah, this Siesta Key MTV bullshit show premieres tomorrow night.  This local Sarasota dude is pissed about it and makes some good points.  I wouldn’t mind meeting Sarasota Man and buying him a beer.

Siesta Key MTV rant by Sarasota native

I don’t blame the guy for being pissed.  Of course MTV is garbage and everything produce is absolute garbage.

But hey, at least you are getting some exposure.  Even though that exposure is a bunch of spoiled rich kids fuckin around on the beach, partying on yachts and well, that’s about it.

Rumor has it, MTV was going to do a similar show in Bradentucky, but they couldn’t decide on the following show ideas:

  • Bradentucky- Beer, rednecks and overdoses; how the other half live
  • Opiated Bradentucky; the story of how a once sleepy beach town turned into the heroin capital of Florida
  • Real World Bradentucky– the true story of 10 Bradentuckians living from hit to hit; watch as they ride their bikes from the DeSoto Square parking lot to buy drugs and then pass out in ditches.

Oh, and I just heard that one of the Siesta Key MTV “stars” may be fishing buddies with the piece of shit kids who abuse animals.  That could be a rumor though, I’m not sure.  More on that to come.

 

Bradentucky shark abusers; leave town assholes

mangled sharkWell shit, it looks like the asshole, animal abusers may actually have some justice coming their way.  Thankfully, the video of them abusing a shark has gone viral.  And now the FWC is on the case.

And holy shit, because of these fuck-tards, Bradentucky made it to the NY Post.  Thanks a lot assholes, way to give more people an extra reason to hate Bradentucky.

These kids are complete assholes and show no regard, no respect for nature.  They are all sad excuses for human beings.  They are in fact, HUMAN GARBAGE.

I am worried that they will get away with this. One of the assholes is named Michael Wenzel.  His dad works for Manatee County.  Another one of the assholes is named Robert Lee “Bo” Benack and his mother is the chairwoman of the Manatee County commission.  There’s a real good chance that mommy and daddy have been keeping these pieces of shit out of trouble for a long time.  So don’t be surprised if nothing happens to them.

wenzel2So, here we have some rich, spoiled Bradentucky assholes who have zero conscious and zero respect for the beautiful animals and nature that makes our city special.

If someone can treat innocent animals this way, how do they treat people???

I’m a life long Bradentucky resident and I think I speak for all of Bradentucky when I say that these pieces of shit need to leave town.

Bradentucky has nothing for you.  You are not Bradentucky. 

You are WHITE-FUCKING-TRASH.

WHITE-FUCKING-TRASH

I would like to thank the good people in our community who helped make this go viral.

 

 

 

 

RIP Snooty (a Bradentucky legend)

snootyBradentucky Man is pissed.  I just can’t believe it’s true.  I woke up yesterday, went online and saw that Bradentucky’s precious mascot Snooty had died.

He was 69 years old and they just had a huge birthday party for him at the South Florida Museum the day before.

The world’s oldest, captive Manatee is dead.  He was 69 fucking years old.  He lived through 12 presidents from 1948 to the present.  But there was one president Snooty couldn’t survive…………… Donald Fuckin Trump.

Coincidence????  I think not.

This is a clear instance of the Trump team colluding with Russia to kill one of West Coast Florida’s treasured mascot’s.  My sources are telling me that Trump has always been angry at the South Florida Museum.

Apparently, a few years ago, Trump attempted to buy Snooty for an undisclosed amount because he wanted to showcase him in a fountain at the front of his Mar-A-Lago Country Club.

mar-a-lago_fountain3_ferrara_all_rights_reservedThe Museum was furious and immediately spurned Trump’s request.  This did not sit well with our President.  He was somewhat quoted as once saying, “I will get revenge on that damn Sea-Cow if it kills me.  I promise you that.” (more…)

Siesta Key spoiled rich kids (MTV)

Siesta-Key-Cast-Photo-resizedGive me a fucking break.  This MTV Siesta Key reality show is going to be bull-shit.  Of course MTV wants to film a bunch of spoiled, rich kids dicking around on a beautiful beach.

This is just pure MTV laziness.  They followed around a bunch of rich kids partying on Siesta Key during the summer.  Wow, fucking genius idea MTV (sarcasm).

Check out the picture of the “cast.”  Just your normal group of young people with extra abs and zero body fat.  Oh, thanks MTV for throwing in a token “almost” black guy.

I can see the drama now:

  • “OMG, I need help putting on my bronzer on.  Don’t they have lotion boys on this beach???”
  •  “Bro, what do you mean I can’t do shots on the beach?  Don’t you know my dad is rich?”
  • “I’m so tired of sweating out here.  Can you tell your dad to buy a super-huge air conditioner for the beach?  All this sweat is clogging my pores and keeping the alcohol from seeping out.”

MTV should let me take a few of my boys to Siesta to visit these kids and show them what Bradentucky is all about.  We would bitch-slap these spoiled brats and steal all of their alcohol.  And yes, we would be wearing jean-shorts and confederate flag hats during the process.

That would be “reality” and that would be ratings gold.

 

 

Dog the Bounty Hunter in Bradentucky

dogHOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT…………………. this is going to be huge. Dog the Bounty Hunter is again coming to Bradentucky.

Dog and his oddly gigantic breasted wife Beth will be speaking at the Source church in east Bradenton.

Can I get a big “HELL YEAH” from the congregation?????  These two are the perfect couple to bring their road preachin’ to Bradentucky.

I mean shit, they look like they could be lifelong Oneco residents.  Dog’s mullet, his wife-beater shirts and all that damn leather, perfect.  And Beth can seriously rock those dream catcher earrings.

They would fit in like redneck camouflage on Coquina Beach.  Don’t even try to tell me you can’t see Dog rockin’ a cut-off jean short bathing suit.  (more…)

a classic Bradentucky arrest

drunk

This is a classic Bradentucky news story.  Dude just wanted to get his drink and smoke on, but the damn island police had to pull him over.

Look at that smile.  I feel for this dude. At least he’s owning that mugshot.

“Ain’t nothin’ gonna’ bring me down.  Piss off haters,” he probably said.

Who hasn’t been in this very same position?

Hanging out on main street; drinking a few or 20 beers, hit the bong a couple times on the way home.

Shit, it’s a long drive from main street to the beach.  I can’t believe he made it that far without killing someone or himself.

But dude, everyone knows that you have to be careful driving on the island after midnight.  Those cops have nothing else to do at that hour.

Hey Joel, when you get out of jail, meet me down at the Roo and I will buy you some drinks.  I want to hear stories about what really goes down in the showers at the Manatee County jail.

Until then brother, stay strong.

Back in the day (old Bradentucky)

desotoA long time ago, Bradenton was just Bradenton.  No one ever called it Bradentucky until the late 1990’s.  #FACT

I saw a story today in the online Bradenton Herald about a child being shot.  That fuckin’ pisses me off.  Back in the day; kids didn’t get shot in Bradenton.

I remember when I could ride my bike to G.T. Bray park, play sports all day with my friends and never worried about getting molested in the woods or getting shot.  Boy, those were the days.

But when my beloved city changed to Bradentucky; that’s when all the bull shit started creeping in.

  • Back in the day- I used to shop at DeSoto Square Mall with no fear.
  • Back in the day- I used to play with my friends outside after dark.
  • Back in the day- I could get to the beach in less than 10 minutes
  • Back in the day- it was nearly impossible to score opiates
  • Back in the day- there were always drunks

I know as the years go everything changes.  Sometimes though, it makes me a bit sad.  Yes, Bradentucky Man has feelings too and an occasional soft side.

 

 

 

 

Trump & Bradentucky Man

tdy_jackson_trump_161117.nbcnews-ux-1080-600You know, I ain’t never been too political, but damn I love me some Trump.  Go ahead, get mad about it…. I don’t give a shit.

He tells it just like it is.  I mean shit, he marries a hottie and then when she gets worn out, he upgrades to a younger, hotter chick.  So bad-ass.

I’m so tired of all the damn liberal pussy sniffers gettin’ their feelings hurt about Trump being president.  You lost, get the fuck over it and stop yer damn whining.

That’s right……………. stop yer damn whining.  That’s all it is.  I think you people forgot that this is ‘Merica, home of the free.  Yep, I am free to support Trump just like you are free to make fun of me. (more…)