HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT…………………. this is going to be huge. Dog the Bounty Hunter is again coming to Bradentucky.
Dog and his oddly gigantic breasted wife Beth will be speaking at the Source church in east Bradenton.
Can I get a big “HELL YEAH” from the congregation????? These two are the perfect couple to bring their road preachin’ to Bradentucky.
I mean shit, they look like they could be lifelong Oneco residents. Dog’s mullet, his wife-beater shirts and all that damn leather, perfect. And Beth can seriously rock those dream catcher earrings.
They would fit in like redneck camouflage on Coquina Beach. Don’t even try to tell me you can’t see Dog rockin’ a cut-off jean short bathing suit.
Back to the preachin. Now, we should probably all forget that he did serve prison time for murder and apparently enjoys using the racial slur “nigger” when talking to one of his sons on the phone. You should listen to the call……. it’s super God-Like. But hey, don’t let that bother you.
He’s been married multiple times and has about 10 or 12 kids……….. that he knows of. Holy shit, if that ain’t a God fearin’ man, I don’t know what is. Praise Jesus.
But, forget all of that, we should all be good Christians and forgive him for his transgressions. And holy shit, there are a lot of transgressions. This dude seriously keeps God busy.
Anyway, welcome to Bradentucky. God is good.
(Disclaimer: This is a comedic blog. I am truly happy that Dog turned his life around and seems to genuinely want to help people. But, I’m a huge fan of irony and couldn’t resist. If you can’t make fun of yourself, who can you make fun of.)